As I mentioned in the previous post, it's time for me to give up the excuses. But it would be stupid of me not to aknowledge the reasons I've gained so much weight. Below I've listed what I feel are the three most important factors I'll have to overcome, along with their potential solutions.
Pain
For fourteen years I've suffered from chronic pain in my right side. The severity varies a bit long-term but never resolves. Some months it hardly impacts my activity level, other months it is debilitating.
For most of my twenties, I was tied to my heat pad. It's not that I didn't want to work out- it's just that it's difficult to get the cardio in from the couch.
In addition to the lack of movement, I've also dealt with the pain in ways that exacerbate my weight problem. I turn to food- especially sugary food- for comfort. I order out or prepare pre-made frozen meals several times a week so that I don't have to waste my good moments on cooking. I take pain medications that leave me constantly exhausted.
In preparation for surgery, I've been looking into new therapies. I've found a warming patch that helps a bit. I've been doing strengthening exercises twice a week in physical therapy. I'm experimenting with acupuncture, massage, and cupping. And I'm taking supplements and adjusting my diet to include more nutrients with anti-inflammatory properties.
Medications
Certain drugs, including antidepressants, mood stabilizers, steroids, and diabetes medications, seem to cause weight gain.
In 2003, I was prescribed an antidepressant for severe postpartum depression. Within six months of starting with this new medication, I had gained 60 pounds. Nothing about my lifestyle had changed; I continued to eat appropriately and exercise as often as possible. My body had seemingly just lost the ability to burn ten pounds of fat calories per month!
One pound of fat is commonly thought to contain approximately 3,500 calories. At ten pounds per month, that leaves me with a 35,000 calorie deficit. In a thirty-day month, I would have to cut 1200 calories per day from my diet or add two hours of moderate running just to maintain my current weight.
Unfortunately, I can't stop taking my medications at the moment, but I've been working with my doctor to find those which are least likely to contribute to weight gain.
Sexuality and Self-Image
I got my share of attention from men when I was young- much of it unwanted. First of all, I'm extremely religious and I was never interested in casual relationships or one-night-stands. Second, I had a traumatic experience at age 18 that helped solidify my view of all men as predators.
I got married at my first opportunity. My husband and I met when I was 20 and were married two months later. For some reason, I thought the attention would stop there. I was wrong. Without fully realizing the reasons, I began to gain weight, dress in baggy clothes and go out without styling my hair or doing my makeup. I felt awful about myself but I enjoyed being insulated from men's advances.
Happily, age has brought maturity. I'm comfortable with who I am and I feel that I have more to offer the world than just something pretty to look at. I'm not at all worried about the odd person who can't see that.
Also, I'm 36 years old. Even if I were at my physical best, men wouldn't look at me and think "She looks like a great lay," but "She looks like a great babysitter." There is something comfortable about having outgrown the expectation that I should be attractive at all times.
What are your struggles with weight loss? How have you addressed them?
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